What I did today
Woke up and called jail where husband is being held to see when he might be released
Get dressed in short shirt and go buy things to make granola
Buy a green flower with petals that are dipped in silver sparkles
Take videos of the flower for Instagram
Make granola, it's too sweet
Lay in bed watching youtubes of a blonde who made it big on YouTube
Think that I want a steak
Go to Best Buy at Atlantic mall to replace charger for vibrator that dog ate
Got on the train back and had a conversation with a man who was surprised to hear cops in England don't carry weapons
Get off the train and go buy a steak, the thinner one because the thicker is too expensive
Walk back home and leave the steak to get room temp
Plug the vibrator in and hope it works
Listen to record and lay in bed
Vibrator still doesn't work so masturbate without it
Make the steak it tastes sub par didn't put as much effort into it as normal
Lay in bed watch more youtubes of aforementioned blonde wanna be celebrity telling stories about sleeping with people she thought was Marilyn Manson and her plastic surgery
Mitchel comes back from jail I show him the flower I got him and make him a bath with epson salt
We fall asleep

What I did today
Wake up a bit late at 11 am dreams are great
Wrote the following list for the day:

Email professors
Make appnt for gre
Get check
Return charger
Bring vibrator to get check
Get bike from bushwick

Then wash dishes, including the old honey jar to put granola in for Natty
Sat down to research grad schools and write emails to old professors asking for recommendations
Sat there for 5 hours working until Mitchel came home from work
At 5 pm left and went to a reading
Talked about performance studies and watched a nice girl sing songs with her guitar
Bragged about my projects and later felt bad about it
Got on the bus to go get my bike I left in bushwick
Got to my bike and Mitchel met me
Went to a cocktail bar where the beers were served out of beakers
Left to find food and went to KFC on the way to meet Max
Heard saxophone coming out of an apartment while biking by
Got to the pub and had a glass of water with lime
Wanted sparkling but didn't want to pay $2
It was chilly and I was tired so we went home
Fell asleep reading with my fuzzy pink sweater on

What I did today
Get up and shower, wash my hair
Put a face mask on and listen to music
Wash it off and take my time choosing an outfit
A scarf for a belt and three interesting patterns
Go get breakfast some dolmas and apricots
Get on the train towards Chelsea
Go to work to get my check and my manager says have a nice night pretty girl
Go to the sex shop to see if my vibrator will work with their chargers and it doesn't
Get Aesop deodorant and try on some shirts
Go to meet Cliff and stop on the way to get some Yorkshire tea and Branstons pickle from the English store for Mitchel
Meet Cliff and we walk to get Arnold Palmers
Go to the water and talk, I read him my day logs and tell him about Mitchel
He says he can't see me anymore because otherwise he would develop feelings for me
We talk and have our last time together in the short lived friendship
We walk to the bookstore and he buys me a book about tap dancing
Then I call Kira and tell her about it, she tells me about her friend who had to go to the mental hospital and wants to be famous
I look at some records for sale on the street, disco, old school rap but don't know which one to buy, so I head to the park to meet Natty
Meet some nice dogs and see there is a concert there
Go to the bathroom and pee in my undies
See a lady who is giving free advice, take a picture
Write this log as I'm waiting for Natty
Go get banh mi and summer rolls for us because she is taking awhile
Meet Natty she smiles so big when I wave at her
Go and buy my first art from a girl selling her work in the park
We go and sit down I put the piece called The Art of Loving in a clear plastic bag and open up our food
Natty has Aloe juice and we drink it with our food, it doesn't taste like it is really Aloe but I don't mind
We sit on a slight hill in the grass there is a stage and it is a Charlie Parker festival so jazz musicians are playing
We talk about my insecurities and we talk about her going to Poland soon
Then we go to a cowboy bar to pee
We walk to a hidden Japanese cocktail bar I know about and she is impressed, we sit at the bar even though I try to get us a table with no luck
She orders a drink with plum salt on the rim and I order a drink that has smoke billowing out of the glass
We talk more but this time more about her
We pay and leave to walk to Canal and catch our trains, we get there and her train has arrived we kiss goodbye
The Q comes soon after and i get on, meet Mitchel at home and he has made pasta and salad we eat in bed
We fall asleep

What I did today
Wake up feeling really depressed but I can't tell you why
It is raining I'm supposed to work but I get cut
I get in the bath and watch videos on Instagram
Mostly ballerina videos
I get out and forget to brush my teeth, I get back in the bed
I lay there for 2 hours or so and watch more videos and text people
I start feeling worse so I need to take another bath and brush my teeth this time, get ready to get dressed and go get some food
Put on black sweatpants and black hoodie pulled tight around face, pink socks and white reebocks
Walk to taco place, order two sopes and a tamarind juice
Drink the tamarind juice before the sopes come out and have to get another one
Can't get off Instagram, research how people buy followers and why they do
Finish sopes and walk home, get back in the bath
Bring a book to the bath but don't read it
Get out of the bath, notice the time and get my computer to the bed to start editing Mitchel's book like I said I would today
Reading the book makes me more depressed and I feel so critical
Mitchel comes home and I lay in bed telling him how I feel, then we walk to the store and I get a cold borsch soup and scallops
I try and cook the scallops but they aren't as good as normal
Watch a funny movie set in the north of England about older men who try and make money by stripping for the town
Fall asleep

What I did today
I wake up feeling sick but I have to get up and go get change for a dollar to dry my jeans for work tomorrow
I walk to the deli and watch a man buy at least 10 different kinds of lottery tickets spending around $35
I feel always helpless in these situations but I think of it as a fitting way to start the day
I get back and put my jeans in the dryer, then go upstairs and lay in bed for awhile after eating granola that is too sweet
I feel exhausted
I feel very low, and go to brush my hair
I put it up like I like to for work
I walk with Mitchel to the train and get on, I bring my new books
I get to work and go straight to the back to change, I have trouble being as cheery as normal
At one point I sneak an uneaten half of a sandwich off a plate and bring it to the bathroom, I eat it sitting on the toilet but I somehow don't lock the door
Someone tries to come in

What I did today
Wake up after a night of vivid dreams, caused by the chaste berry I've been taking to balance my hormones
Get up and brush my teeth, gather dishes and think about a plan for the day
Decide to work on essay at a coffee shop because I want to wear my nice new shirt and shoes out of the house
Go to the store to get quarters for laundry, frozen berries, and to look at the vitamins in the natural pharmacy
Go to the pharmacy and talk with a man who is a naturopath and tests whether a vitamin is good for me by having me put down my phone and stand in front of him while he holds the vitamin and sees how it draws his body towards or away from me
Walk home and put my laundry in the wash, do the dishes and make a smoothie
Put the laundry in the dryer and bring my pendant to the jeweler to get fixed
Biked to the coffee shop and worked on my essay
Text all my friends tell them I'm feeling glamorous
Woman with incense on the train says everyone shares food in this country and that is so beautiful
See a boy who just had a bike accident with a bloody eye
Go to meet sara at a fashion event see many girls I recognize from Instagram
Stay in the fashion show with sara there is a woman whose pregnant and makes me think of my recent fascination with the idea of having a child
Leave the show and walk to her house, she is staying in a art slobs house in soho and we make fun of the decor
We try to relate and then we go to meet her friend Hannah
It is a new club next to the restaurant I got fired from last spring and she orders a fernet I get one as well and I'm worried she devalues me for copying
We get champagne to toast the whole bar makes a toast to a good song someone sings
Then we leave we go back to her place and get stoned and talk about her face being reconstructed after a traumatic Vespa accident in Miami
I try and give her some advice but she obviously doesn't need it and/or doesn't take advice from strangers
I enjoy her company and get my bike to go home
Ride to the train and get cursed at by drivers about 3 times think about how that might affect me
Get to the train station and meet 3 men from New Jersey who seem like they know what they are talking about I ask them about the Q train since the announcer says it isn't working after Atlantic
We talk about New York and what it has, whether it can be said to have a character
When the Q train comes we introduce and say goodbye, they wave me off as the train starts moving
The Q isn't running passed Atlantic but I have a bike what am I thinking I start biking home
Through prospect park at night going downhill not holding the handlebars and there is nobody else in the whole park
The rest of the ride feels long but I think a lot about some insecurities I've been having a lot recently
Get home and am so happy with the state I left the house in
Get into bed and read till I get sleepy

What I did today
Wake up feeling a bit hungover lay in bed looking at the Instagram of the jewelry designer from last night
Get up when my phone turns off and go make a smoothie, make some bacon and grab my book on the way to the bath
Get out to make some tea and refill the tub, forget about the tea and pour some really boiling water into the teapot
Get out an watch videos, interviews, look for readers for the series
Lay in bed feel so sick realize I haven't eaten in 2 days
Trim my pubes and shave my legs
Get dressed and go out to get food

What I did today
Wake up and get the comforter from the closet, it's getting cold and I decide I love the weather
Get dressed in a strange outfit and walk to the store to get coffee, jam, cheese, and milk
Walk back home and put everything away, make coffee and eat yogurt
Sweep the floors and organize the desk, pour coffee and sit down to work
Natty asks about dinner tonight I promised her scallops but I'm not sure if I can
Look at antiques on Craigslist
Reorganize an essay and begin to edit
Text friends, including Mitchel about how I love the weather
Listen to the same album over and over
Cut some cheese and eat it with Branston's pickle
Now it starts raining
I keep working I think about organization
I fill up the bath and light a candle
Shave my legs and cut my left knee, shave my underarms and empty the bath
Take a video of the candle and the bath for Instagram
Return to the desk